


Actions speak louder than words

by Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright



Series: After Morning Star [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec's POV, Angst with a Happy Ending, Izzy gives advice, Kissing, M/M, Minor Angst, Post season finale, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 05:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6598492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright/pseuds/Tiger_Tiger_Burning_Bright
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec struggles with what to do post season finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Actions speak louder than words

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first attempt at fanfic...well to be honest writing of any kind so I would be really grateful for any feedback.
> 
> My take on the Malec situation ...
> 
> Hope you enjoy 
> 
> *smiles shyly*

Alec slumped down on the bed with his head in his hands. In the excitement of Jocelyn waking up he had taken the opportunity to slip away to try and make sense of things. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, to rest, to regain some sort of normality even though he had no idea what normal was anymore.  
Alec had always prided himself on being in control and a life time being instilled with a sense of duty first had left him unprepared to deal with the waring thoughts in his head. Emotions were something you repressed, buried down deep inside your mind too dangerous to see the light of day. Alec felt like he was drowning. So much had happened in just 24 hours. Jace was gone, Hodge betrayed them, Lydia injured and his parents unlikely to forgive him.

Alec fought for control, to be the leader he was raised to be.

 _Focus_ Alec clenched his fists _just_ _breathe you can do_ _this._

Except he couldn't. Every time he closed his eyes visions of Magnus swirled around his mind filling his every thought.

Magnus stood in the aisle

The feel of Magnus’ lips on his

Magnus and Camille

The look on Magnus’ face the last time they spoke

There was a soft knock at the door and as Alec looked up he tried, and likely failed, to hide the flash of disappointment he felt as Izzy moved across the room and sat down next to him. She was staring straight ahead her expression unreadable. Izzy, his bright, bold sister who burned like the sun looked small and dim in the pale light making his heart twist painfully in his chest. Instinctively he reached for her hand.

“Magnus left”

“Oh” Alec felt numb.

“He said you needed time to think”

Alec shrugged.

Izzy wrenched her hand from his and stood staring at him anger flashing in her eyes.

“What are you doing just sitting there…. Go after him”

Alec ran his fingers through his hair distractedly.

“I…”

“If this is about what Camille said I’ll stake the bitch myself”

“Iz…”

“What is wrong with you? The one good thing you've got in your life and you're trying to throw it away”

“It's…. not that simple… “

Izzy laughed, a sharp brittle laugh.

“Why are you so stupid big brother?…. We're on the brink of war, anyone of us could be dead in the next few weeks and you're worrying about what'll happen in 20 years time”

“I..look…I need to find Valentine”

“No, you don't, not right now. I've let it go before but I won't this time. You were happy Alec, you're never happy….I _need_ you to be happy.. For one of us to be happy. Everything around us is darkness and there has to be some light”

Alec looked up blinking slowly. She was right, he had been happy, despite it all, despite his parents harsh words he had felt more alive, more real than he had ever dreamed possible. The realisation hit him spreading through his veins and he wanted, more than anything to feel like that again.

Standing sharply he bent to kiss his sister lightly on the top of her head.

“Sometimes little sister I forget how smart you are…” He smiled softly at her grabbing his jacket as he left the room.

 

* * *

  
Staring at the buzzer Alec felt his resolve starting to slip. He had felt so sure when he left the institute but now the doubts were starting to creep in. What if Magnus didn't want to see him, had decided he was too much hassle. He realised that he had taken it for granted that Magnus would keep chasing him and now he wasn't at all sure why.  
All his life he'd seen people falling under the spell of Jace and Isabelle and that he understood. He had stood in the background for so long, window dressing to the main show that was his siblings, that he'd grown comfortable with this being his roll in life. Why would anyone notice him now when he had tried so hard to hide.  
Then there was Magnus himself, bright, colourful Magnus who surely could have his pick of anyone. Why would he choose careful drab Alec ?

He had come this far, he had to at least try. He pushed the button.

It seemed like a lifetime before the intercom crackled into life.

“Yes…” Magnus voice.

“Um…. It's me… Um Alec… Can …. Can I come up….?”

 

* * *

 

By the time he reached the loft Alec was shaking with anxiety. Looking up he saw Magnus, he was standing, his face caught in shadows and his arms crossed protectively in front of himself. Did he look pleased, confused, angry? Alec couldn't tell.

“Alexander…?”

Alec looked at the ground unable to meet the warlock’s eyes…

‘I… It's just….I”

Alec wished more than anything he could find the right words to say. Instead he stood rooted to the spot his heart beating erratically in his chest as if trying to escape.

Looking up he saw Magnus had moved slightly towards him, his face, now illuminated in the lamplight, looked confused, questioning.

Unconsciously Alec found himself moving towards him every heart beat bringing them closer. Reaching forwards he ran his shaking fingers along the warlocks cheekbone hearing Magnus’ breath catch in his throat.

The older man didn't move, it felt as if time itself was holding its breath waiting to see if Alec was brave enough. Alec moved his palm flat against the warlocks face and leaning down found the warlock’s lips with his own, senses filling with the scent of sandalwood and burnt sugar.

Alec felt the warlocks hand reaching for him and the kiss, which had started soft and hesitant became something else, deeper and more certain and he knew, by the Angel, he knew there was nowhere else he could possibly be.

The taste of Magnus set Alec's pulses racing, adrenalin coursing through his veins. He reached for the warlocks waist desperately trying to close the distance between them the feel of Magnus tongue brushing against his lower lip making him moan with pleasure. Magnus’ hands were on him now gently, almost imperceptibly running over his shirt sending shivers down his spine.Everything was pure sensation and still he wanted more.

As Magnus’ tongue entered Alec's mouth the world exploded, bright lights burst behind his eyelids as their tongues twisted together, tasting, probing, exploring. Passion erupted inside him burning through him like wildfire as he reached into the warlocks hair desperately trying to pull him closer still. Need flowed through him, feral and uncontrolled as their hands grabbed for each other frantically reaching for each other.

Alec wanted to know all of this magical creature in his arms. To possess and be possessed by him, beyond reason, beyond words a feeling that was undeniable.

Breaking their kiss Alec moved to taste along the warlock’s jawline, kissing a soft line down his neck, finding new tastes and textures with his tongue, his teeth grazing the soft skin making Magnus gasp against him. His hands slipped under the older man's shirt his palms mapping the warlocks back tracing their way to his shoulders.

Magnus’ hands were on Alec's chest now pushing him away slightly…

“Alec…are you sure this is what you want….?”

Alec took a deep, ragged breath and looked at him.

Suave, polished Magnus looked wrecked, his breath coming in short pants and the pupils on his cat’s eyes blown wide with passion. A new feeling burst through Alec, pure unadulterated joy.

He had done this, his hands, his mouth, his body.

As the realisation hit him everything else began to fall away all his doubts and fears blowing away like leaves on the wind. So what if they didn't have forever, who did in the end anyway. It was worth all the pain in the world to feel, even for a second, just one iota of what he felt right now.Alec knew with a certainty he had never felt before that for the first time ever he had something he had never in his wildest dreams thought possible, some one who felt the same as him. He was not alone, they were in this together.

The smile infused his whole being.

“I am more sure than I have ever been of anything in my whole life…”

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading... I hope that was ok.
> 
> I'm trying to play with different writing styles so (if my nerves can take it) I'll post more soon


End file.
